Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Do you have an alibi?

My thoughtful husband is probably regretting his generous birthday gift he gave me this year. Of course, he's probably regretting quite a few decisions he's made regarding me...but anyway...

So, I'm really into mysteries - books, movies, games...nobody would ever play Clue with me growing up because I was a little bit anal about it...kinda - well, maybe obsessive about details and of course I ALWAYS win...and usually lose a few friends along the parents took my board away and looked into 12 step programs for me, but that didn't work out.

I usually delve into my mystery books with quite a bit of relish.  Ok, so doesn't everyone yell out loud to the characters at least sometimes???  I KNOW they can't really hear me (neither can the people on TV, but that doesn't stop me) but I just can't help talking back to them. 

"Are you really that stupid that you would believe Niles was visiting his Aunt on the night in question when he isn't even nice to the dog? Any idiot could tell he was lying and he has a lover, can't you smell her perfume on him???"

"Like he really got that lipstick on his sleeve from brushing up against a fellow passenger on the morning commute?"

"Oh, yea there just HAPPENS to be a secret staircase leading from your room to the conservatory where the murder convenient..."

My husband has been known to run into the room cause I'm screaming at people in my book and it takes him a few minutes to process that I'm just bat crazy talking to imaginary people in my mind.  Often an eye roll and more than a few shakes of the head accompany this realization....hmmm...

So, maybe....perhaps....maybe I kinda get into my stories....a little.

Therefore, when I was discussing murder mystery dinner theaters with our friends a while back and how much fun that sounded like it could be, my dear sweet hubby took note.  For my birthday in February (I turned 25 again) he presented me with some research he had done on some "mystery dinner" games and B & B's that would host a game and then you get a cool room and make it a weekend.  Wow.  I was very impressed!!

So, I plunged into research about what I could find also on the inet.  After much contemplation, I settled on one located in Belluvue Iowa.  Its in a mansion and all the rooms are beautifully decked out (most Victorian style, which I LOVE) and beautiful views of the river.  So, I signed us up for this weekend!! 

When you get there, they give you a character to play, complete with costume (!!) and background on your circumstances and such going into the dinner.  Then you enjoy a 5 or 6 course meal while being able to converse with the other players, gathering evidence and such to solve the murder!!!  I'm so excited I could almost pee my pants....

I have polished up my magnifying glass as well as my monocle (just wouldn't be a proper investigative experience without one) and tried on my trench coat for size.  I got myself a fresh new spiral notepad to fit in my breast pocket, sharpened a pencil and am ready to whip it out and flip it open as I suspiciously eye each new suspect.  I can hastily jot down my observations and circle my "gut" feelings....always go with your gut...

I packed my "DNA for Dummy's" books, my fingerprint analysis kit, and my box of little plastic baggies.  I ordered some truth serum over the inet and I hope it gets here overnight express.  I have a cigar to chew on if I need it to help me think through the possible scenarios as I mull over the evidence and suspect list....Lots of coffee and donuts should be supplied I would hope.

I want to take my stun gun after I get it charged up and of course my handcuffs in case I need to subdue a violent suspect. I won't let any perp get away from me just because I wasn't strong enough to hold him down! James drew the line at getting a gun.  Bummer.

I thought about packing my wigs and my mustaches, but everyone will already not know me, so I don't really have to disguise myself for sly undercover operations.  That just leaves more room for my complete set of Nancy Drew books so I can catch up on my technique in any down time.  Brush up on any pointers she can give me.  Oooh...maybe a few tapes of my Murder, She Wrote shows too....Jessica is my idol, you know.

Maybe I'll be sooo impressive and sooo fast at solving this case that the local police will hear about it and beg me to join their team!  I can see it now, rookie Riehle with a shiny new detective badge, chasing down murderers and throwing the book at them. (I wouldn't really throw a book, that's just disrespectful to a book). I would throw a shoe or something at them....a heel, so it might nick them in the temple or something...but I digress.  First I have to focus on the case set before me on Saturday, and nail that perp!!  I will take him DOWN! (with my stun gun).

Ohhhh another episode of Forensic Files is on, I have to bone up on my research...gonna go....

Respectfully submitted,
Inspector K. A. Riehle