Sunday, November 16, 2014

It takes two...

How come it takes two to plant and grow a friendship but it only takes one to let it die?

How come it takes two for an embrace but it only takes one to let go?

How come it takes two to start a marriage but it only takes one to file for divorce?

How come it takes two to make "us", but it only takes one to leave and make it just "me"?

Love isn't forever.  We tell each other I love you forever, but it should really say I love you until we grow apart and move on.  Its not either of us at fault, its just how life moves and flows and you might not fit in with my life.  I will love you until we stop calling each other and we get involved with other friends and our lives don't intersect anymore, then I won't really love you much anymore.  I will love you until I replace you and someone else can make me feel like you used to.

This could be in a romantic relationship or a deep friendship.  I've been reflecting a lot lately on the later. We were inseparable, we cried together, we shared a life.  We were so happy when we could schedule classes together. I'd never bared my true soul to another in the way I poured it all out to her.  I felt like I'd found someone who actually understood how I felt and felt much the same way.  I used to rush home from class to spend all my free time with her. We could talk about anything and we sure did.  We did everything together, we were like one person...we planned how we would live next to each other when we left she doesn't even send me a return Christmas card....I only know she's still alive because of a few posts on Facebook.  We used to share ONE life, now we don't even know what each other is doing, feeling, or thinking.  I quickly found out when we left for our prospective new lives, she didn't plan on including me in hers.  Un-returned phone calls, not many emails, no visits, nothing.  It took two of us to build this beautiful friendship, but it only takes one to let it die...I can't hold it all together from one side.

Another really special friend I had used to tell me we would be friends forever, and she basically kept me alive while in high school, but after she and her husband moved to another state, I guess she wanted to leave me behind as well.  I used to make sure and see her every time I came home from college and we'd pick up like we'd never been apart. She was like a mother/mentor to me since I met her in HS.  She got me through a very dark time...with her hugs, her laughter, her strength and faith in God. I always wondered "How would she respond to this or would she think this was a good idea?"  When I met James, my husband, he had to pass her test first.  I would have defied most everyone else, but not her.  If she thought he was bad news, it would have been over. She was in my wedding, she was a huge part of my life in HS and into college.  We exchanged emails every day and visited every change I got to come see her.  She even came to visit me in my dorm.  But after I wed and she moved, the emails trailed off, the visits were never and I haven't heard her voice in years.  I guess it only took one of us to let the relationship whither to dust. 

Both of these incredible women were a major part of my life and helped to mold me into the person I have become. Without them, I would probably be dead or at least have given up a long time ago.  I know we need to continue on and realize that not everyone is meant for a lifetime journey with us, but I HATE IT!!  I want to be in their lives forever and they in mine, but apparently promises aren't always kept, relationships aren't always forever and love doesn't always stay.

Why does it take two to tango but it only takes one to stop the dance?

Why does it take two to sing a duet but it only takes one to make it a solo?

Why does it take two to make a promise but it only takes one to break it?

Neither woman will ever read this blog because they aren't in my life to even know I wrote it.  Perhaps one day when we all get to heaven I can understand why such important relationships have to change and go away...why we can literally depend on someone one day and barely know them the next?

I wonder if anyone views me as the one to let it die?