Totally in Love

I have the bestest nephews ever!  I have been so blessed with sweetness I cannot even tell you.  My 3 1/2 year old nephew is the light of my heart.  He is so excited to see me when I come, and sad to see me go.  We have so much fun and he knows he's my little sweetie.  I want to be the auntie that he knows will be there for him no matter what....he can tell me anything and I will help him and keep his secrets and pray for him, and wipe his tears, share his joys, and get him stuff his parents can't afford.  Nothing bad, just stuff Mommy and Daddy would like to get him but they can't afford it, cause they have two kids.  Enter Auntie Kathy and she can make it happen.

I have nightmares sometimes.  You know the snakes in your hair, or the guy chasing you in slow motion.  But the worst ones are when I dream that my brother and his wife break up.  I love my nephews so much that I would be devastated for them if something would happen to their parents.  Having been there, I know the pain and the unfixable anguish of your parents divorcing and ripping the family apart.  I never want that for my boys.  I want their parents to be happy and I pray for that every night when I pray for my boys health and happiness.  As that is all intertwined. 

I understand how you can love someone so much you wouldn't even hesitate to die for them.  I love my parents very very much, but I know they wouldn't want me to die for them, they would want to go first, and have me follow many years later as nature intended.  I would give my life without hesitation for my boys.  Given the chance, I wouldn't need to even think about it, take me not them.  I wouldn't want to live in a world without them anyway.  I would also give myself in place of their parents.  I want a mom and a dad for them.  My brother and his wife are much more important to their well being and their happiness than I.  So, I would also not hesitate to trade my life for theirs either, as they are much more important for my boys.

If some evil monster were to hurt one of my boys, I understand how parents can't stand it and kill the evil that did that to their kid.  You hurt my boys, I want to hurt you...I see how it would be so hard NOT to go after the devil - but then I couldn't be there for them, but it would be very very hard not to hunt them down and take them out.

Sometimes I dream about playing with my boys.  We are running and swimming and sliding and racing down the road.  I think he will like theatre like his auntie and we can go to shows and then I can watch him star in all the school plays.  I will go watch all his races, as I'm sure he will share Daddy's love of racing.  Maybe he will be a writer like me.  He will ask me to edit his beautiful and thoughtful essays.  Maybe he will be an artist or an inventor.  He could invent things and let me try them out!  I'm sure whatever he does, he will be awesome at it.  I will support him and encourage him and remind him he can do anything he wants.  If he can dream it, he can do it!!

Now my newest little boy, he is just 3 months old - I don't know much about him yet, but I do know his smile is enough to light up the room!!  He smiles all the time!!  He is a good cuddler too.   Maybe he will be my fellow animal lover.  We can go to the zoo and he can come to work with me to see the puppies and the kitties.  He grows so fast, every time I see him he is so big!!!

My greatest blessing are little boys that I never knew I could love so intensely, so fervently, with such passion and protectiveness.  I'm so glad its not up to me to raise them right, I'd only screw that up, but I get to love them with such complete unconditional love that I'm so lucky. I also get to go home and sleep in a nice quiet house and recover till the next visit!!!

ME: how did you get that scratch on your face?
3 yr old nephew: A lion bit me
ME: Really?  Did  a lion really bite you?
3 yr old nephew: No....it was an elephant.